Are you a new grandparent?
We remember that moment when our grown son or daughter let us know they are expecting their first child. That moment resonates in our minds and stays with us in conversation after conversation. It is definitely such a monumental event in our lives knowing we will be grandparents and our lives will not only be fuller, but also a chance to relive the most wonderful miracles of life. Grandparenting requires us to re-examine our roles and our values in order to learn new ones… and be consistently challenged.
Here are some tips for new grandparents!
During the past fifty years our society has moved away from the tradition of living within geographic family groupings. Kids marry and often move away. Grandparents retire and move to more senior-friendly locations. Because of this shift, grandparents may not be as involved as in previous generations.
There are more single-parent and blended families than ever before. Add adoptions and fostering situations to this new paradigm, and grandparents are uncertain about how to help. Rest assured, one thing has not changed: when parents have the support of grandparents, living in this chaotic world becomes a lot less scary, and easier to navigate.
The biggest step we can take is to open the lines of communication. No one appreciates a know-it-all. While we grandparents have walked the parenting road before, we have not done it with all the challenges that face today’s parents. It’s important to acknowledge that fact and ASK before we jump in.
Topics to Discuss with Your Adult Children
Communicate your desire to be an active part of your children and grandchild’s’ lives. Be open and honest about how you would like to be involved. Then, prepare for compromise.
Find out the things that add stress to the parents’ lives and ask how to help. If there’s no concrete suggestion from the parent, be ready to offer specific things.
For grandparents who live nearby: if the parent is overwhelmed with transportation, offer to step in and help certain days of the week.
Offer to babysit. Is it a good idea to have a weekly babysitting date so the parents know when they have some time to themselves?
See if they would like a home-cooked meal. Prepare it in your home and bring it over to them, so there’s no mess in their kitchen!
Grandparents who live further away: if the parent is burned out, the grandparent can do weekend babysitting while the parents get away.
Tips for New Grandparents Anywhere
Learn how to use relevant technology. Grandparents are much more tech savvy than in years past. However there are still a lot of things to learn. Take time to learn how to use the online places, apps, and networks where your kids and grandkids like to hang out.
Share family stories and family history. We don’t have to wait to be asked. Most families are interested in learning about their heritage.
Become familiar with the things your grandkids and their parents are interested in. Is there a video game, movie world or activity they love? Become educated (like keeping up with the latest tech!), so you can share their interests!
Remember the power of the written word. Handwritten letters have become a novelty in today’s society. Physical letters can be tangible evidence of how much you affirm young parents and the role(s) they’re fulfilling. Becoming your grandchild’s pen pal can be a way to stay involved in the lives of family who live far away.
Share pictures. Kids and grandkids love your pictures as much as you love theirs. You can also scan old photographs and share those as well.
Plan a special gathering regularly. Depending on the distance this could be monthly, quarterly or even yearly.
We grandparents are a vital link for families, providing love and stability—to both parents and grandkids. We offer the perspective of experience and visual encouragement of having been there. Our involvement and support take time, enthusiasm, and commitment. And yes, the results are so very worth it. Enjoy the moments…they fly by!